The Power of Positive Thinking   Leave a comment

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. – Roald Dahl

I was told the other day by someone whose opinion I trust that I currently seem to be giving off an unwelcoming vibe – the words were probably different, but it was something to that effect – which could be (read: most likely is) hindering my attempts to find someone to share my life who is not my son and thus stuck with me. Given how crabby I have been feeling as of late, this wasn’t news. What did shock me was the phrasing because, frankly, I think ‘cross at your own peril’ or ‘warning: approach with caution and chocolate’ both come across as more accurate descriptors at the moment.

The reappearance of the sun is giving me hope that my mood will soon improve and that sometime in the near future I won’t go around snarling at everyone and everything. At least until the next time we have a week of dark, cloudy weather.

This same person also told me about studies that have been done, showing if you start the day with a positive thought, mantra, theme song (Rocky anyone?) it can significantly improve how you are affected by things that happen during your day and can help with your overall stress levels.  (Stress?  What stress?  Bzzzzz.)

On the one hand, I definitely buy this. I spent months – months! – many years ago cultivating an air of bemusement regarding the behavior of an acquaintance with whom I spent a great deal of time due to circumstances beyond my control. I found myself constantly angered by this person’s statements of how everyone was out to get them, actions that contradicted their belief they were a kind and giving person, ways of twisting facts around to fit their world view instead of seeing things as they truly were…

Uh, well, you get the idea.

Anyway, I found if I shook my head and said to myself, “Wow, I can’t believe they said/did/think that,” I didn’t leave every encounter angry and muttering to myself for hours on end. Eventually. It took time, but after a while the air of bemusement became real, and I was less bothered by the attitude and actions that forced me to seek out the remedy. (Getting to a point where I didn’t have to spend as much time with the person also helped. A lot.)

So, I get. I really do. A positive attitude toward life can make things so much easier. And – depressive episodes aside – I am working on finding my phrase, theme song, whatever to make my days more positive.

The other hand? Well, here’s the niggle bouncing around my thoughts.

No matter how positive your thinking is, life is neither a Chick Lit novel nor is it whatever romantic comedy is currently playing at the movie theater. (I wouldn’t know; I don’t watch them any more.) In real life, the broken-hearted or other-wise messed up female protagonist – have you noticed on the big screen she’s always gorgeous, spunky, and model-thin? Funny that. – isn’t necessarily going to meet the man of her dreams while having a series of quirky adventures with her best friends, doing a short, but serious, amount of soul searching, traveling to another country on the honeymoon that didn’t happen, or suddenly changing her job or place of residence to get away from the aforementioned heartbreak.

Because for most people life doesn’t work that way.

Now, I will be the first to admit that for some people it actually does work that way because I’ve met some of those people and hate them. Okay, hate is too strong a word. Let’s instead say I am excruciating jealous of them. Because it’s both nicer and, truthfully, more accurate. And because I want my life to be a movie. Well, not my current life. If people were forced to sit and watch what goes on in my daily life they would either fall asleep due to boredom or walk out to find something more exciting to do after requesting their ticket money back. (Heck, there are times I wish I could do that.)

No, I want my life to be the movie where the nice guy sweeps me off my feet and then is actually there both physically and emotionally. Will I find him through positive thinking? Hell if I know. He certainly didn’t show up on any of the online dating sites I signed up for.

So I’m going to try. Not in a creepy The Secret kind of way, but in a way that helps me get my vibe down from DEFCON 2 to something more calm and welcoming. Do I honestly believe it will help? I have no idea. But it can’t hurt, and being less crabby and more calm would be a nice change.

Now, all I need is a theme song to wake up to every morning. I’ll start working on that.

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Posted May 9, 2016 by wordsaremylife in random thoughts

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