Rebranding   1 comment

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new Socrates

I did something the other day that I don’t generally spend a lot of time (read: any, if at all) doing.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

And I mean, really looked, not just in a cursory ‘please, G-d, let my shirt match my pants’ or a ‘does my hair look all right?’ sort of way – the answer was yes on both counts – and even though I know what I look like, I was still taken aback by what I saw.

Even though I still pretty much look the same as I always have – more on that below – at the same time, I look totally different. Mostly it’s the little things – the nail polish on my toes, the blue streak in my hair, the necklaces I now wear on a regular basis.

The real differences are inside.

As I have said in prior posts, my self-image is better than it has ever been before. (Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be walking around in public with a blue streak in my hair… Although I have to admit, it has gotten a lot of compliments.) The depression that was the bane of my existence for more years than I care to remember is under control without the meds that made me tired, bitchy moody, and fat, which is nice.

Most important is my sense of self-worth has sky-rocketed.

Now, to be clear, I have never doubted my abilities or intelligence. I have always known I was capable, in some instances more than capable. What I doubted was myself. I simply didn’t think I was really worth much of anything. It’s not that anyone ever told me I was wasn’t; it’s more that my image of myself didn’t match up with what society and our culture said I should be – popular, pretty, thin, witty. Being short, shy, awkward, and the size of an average person just seemed wrong. Now it just seems normal.

And as a bonus, I no longer really care what society thinks of me.

It took me much more time than it should have to realize the only person whose opinion about me I need to care about is me. And right now, that opinion is pretty good. Because I am no longer the same person I was before. In that vein, this will be the last post on Tales of a Marathon Widow.

This doesn’t mean I am going to stop writing.

I tried that once before, and it didn’t go over very well. Words to me are like lava in volcanoes; either they cascade out and create new structures, or they stay inside until the pressure is too much and create Pompeii. Which is not good.

See, here’s the thing. A marathon widow (or sports widow of any variety) is by definition someone who has been abandoned by their spouse for a game or a race to run or tournament to participate in. I haven’t been a marathon widow in four years, not since my marriage ended. It just took me longer than I would have liked to let go of that identity.

So, in that vein, it’s time for a little rebranding. After today, Marathon Widow will be archived in favor of my new blog, Snippets of an Unanticipated Life. The content will likely be similar – if not the same as this blog – but the identity will be new.

I hope to see you there.

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Posted July 12, 2017 by wordsaremylife in random thoughts

One response to “Rebranding

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  1. wonderful, fabulous, LOVE the new name and the meaning behind a new name!

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